Interview with Actor, Roxie Mohebbi

Full transcript of Interview with Actor, Roxie Mohebbi.

0:05KT: Roxie Mohebbi. Thank you so much for your time and welcome to the For Your Reference podcast.

0:11Roxie: Thank you. Happy to be here.

0:14KT: We have some time, maybe not all the time, but the first on the agenda is to lay love and say congratulations. CGA Rising Star. Big, big, big it up. This is how we starting. Roxie, how are you feeling in this moment? I also love the interview on the CGA, um, channel as well. So how, how are you feeling in this moment?

0:37Roxie: It's so validating. I keep saying that. I feel like this is a cruel, um, industry. It's lots of rejection. There's often lots of murky gray areas where you don't know if you're heading in the right way. Mm-hmm. So, um, it's just, yeah. And it feels just really like, yeah. I don't know. I just feel completely validated by really lovely industry people who, yeah. Who pretty much make the industry, they kind of work quietly behind the scenes too. So really stoked.

1:08KT: And it's really cool to like traverse oceans as well. Um, you know, from, you know, being from Iran as well as in Aotearoa now in Australia, it's really fun to, you know, I do this podcast with my partner, he's Kenyan and I'm Tongan. Um, so it's, it's, we're very black and brown. We're very bad about it. Oh, yeah. Um, but it's nice to be familiar with you before even like researching for the interview. Um, most notably Critical Incident. Um, we're getting very cultural. We're getting very ethnic. Roxie.

1:42Roxie: Hell yeah. Let's go. Thank God.

1:45KT: I know. Um, it was filmed all over Western Sydney, but as a Blacktown Girls High School girly. Oh, period. It's Toni Collette's, me and it's also you, honorary Roxie. I just have to shout out the area. It was the best.

2:01Roxie: Like it was the craziest and best way of getting to know Sydney. 'cause it was like the job I like

2:07KT: came

2:07Roxie: here with, and I just like, if I had a car, I'd probably live out west. Like it's so good out there.

2:14KT: Yeah, absolutely. So I just needed to, you know, just let people know what sort of podcasts. What we're bringing today. Um, but it's been so lovely to also like, check out your interviews and, you know, just vibe you out and, you know, get a sense of your heart. And I, I don't wanna speak too much. You're welcome to tell me if this is not otherwise, but it feels like you bring. Your whole heart and your energy into, oh, are we starting? We can do it. We can cry together. We, no, I'm not crying. Oh,

2:46Roxie: yeah. I'm just like, shame. Like it's, I'm drench. I'm so cringe. I am. I am an earnest queen. I am so deeply earnest and I feel like every time I do an interview, I'm just like, here is my heart and soul. Or like even in like, please don't hurt me. I'm trying to feel something. Be nice.

3:01KT: Yeah. In this cold world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

3:06Roxie: But yeah, I would say that, and I think I am. I think I'm, I'm proud of that being who I am. 'cause I think acting is, it can be quite a superficial job sometimes. You know, when you kind of try and, well, you know, you're lying for a professional, you know, that's a way of looking at it, so, well, you're actually telling the truth is what a lot of people say. So, yeah, trying to find that in, in the job is, is, I don't know. I, I love it. I love being able to like, empathize and be emotional. So. It's done. Yeah.

3:37KT: But, but, but then you also probably don't want it to hit too close. Right. So it's like a nice little balance probably.

3:44Roxie: Yeah. Maybe it's also, 'cause I think I, like I came, I came into acting. Like after, I'd already had a, kind of started a career in nursing, so I kind of like

3:54KT: started neonatal intensive.

3:56Roxie: Yeah. And I, it was in the ICU. It was just such like a different life and that was such a human job that it just kind of set this foundation of like what I. I don't know, the way I wanna move in the world maybe is like working with nurses. They're just the like the best of the best, like the most resilient, emotional and grounded people. So yeah, maybe that was a bit of that influence from the people I work with. Going into acting was kind of like trying to carry that torch. And yeah.

4:27KT: I think that we're at a very interesting sort of intersection of like the world not caring and then caring too much. And trying to find that in the truth and the art. And I was gonna leave this a bit later in the chat, but I would love to talk about your short film, if you wanted to speak about it now, if we're talking about pouring our heart feelings.

4:49Roxie: That was, um, yeah, I got, I got funded in Aotearoa to make my first ever short. Um, something I wanted to do for like. Honestly, I probably would've preferred to just get into filmmaking and directing before acting. It's just, I always wanted to tell stories, but again, like access and opportunity is, is so limited and there's no, there's a lot of gatekeeping and it's just, it feels so impossible to know like, how the hell do I even start? And so, you know, it took me working in the industry for a while, building a few connections up, and then I got funded. And I spent, honestly, it took me six months to, and to make that film in terms of shooting and editing it, it was a very personal story as all short films are. I feel like short films are, are filmmakers kind of like, you know, it's like about your mom or it's about your best friend or like something so close to you. 'cause that's the first stories that you're like desperate to tell. And I obviously chose to go straight for the heart, went for like a mother-daughter migrant story. Um, which I actually adapted from a short story I read out on the radio, so it was another Iranian woman's story, which kind of felt safer for me to like tell someone else's story even though a lot of it was kind of truthful to my life as well. And yeah, and it was, it was amazing. It was like the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and maybe I will do for a long time in my career because of how sensitive it was. And ultimately, you know, I got to see like four, four lead and Middle Eastern women, woman on a screen. I got to hire a lot of like migrant women Muslims, like everyone that was just like part of my community. I got to like. Bring in. And that was a kind of set and and environment that I hoped to be able to keep working in, in the future and, and make a quality film. Like I'm so harsh about it. I think it's so shit because I'm such a perfectionist. I am. I'm everyone's like, how is your short? And I'm like, oh my God. It's the worst thing you'll ever see. Like, don't watch it.

6:57KT: But I think, but you also wouldn't wanna be those people like, oh, this is light work, like

7:00Roxie: fully. But I dunno if there's just a being brown thing where I'm like, I need to be perfect. It needs to be excellent. And that's another thing of like how I really realized through that process, how I've been kind of conditioned. To try and strive for absolute excellence just to be accepted into the industry.

7:18KT: Um, we're talking about it, continue to talk about it. We are here to talk about it.

7:21Roxie: Yeah. Yeah. And like a lot of my colleagues and friends who don't come from similar backgrounds have so much more kind of confidence and freedom to just like explore and learn and make things that aren't necessarily amazing, but at least they're taking steps. So yeah, it was a huge learning of letting control go and just like. Being grateful to just like, tell a story and get to do that. And it was, it was beautiful. It, it changed. Yeah. It changed, um, how I view filmmaking.

7:50KT: Yeah. And it's, uh, Shayda came out recently. Mm-hmm. Noora Niasari, sorry, uh, who we interviewed on the podcast. As well and Oh amazing. And being able to chat to her. I think it was specifically talking about not needing cultural consultants. 'cause you already know the

8:06Roxie: stories. But then with that, with that, it's so interesting. With that comes this huge burden of I am now the spokesperson of my. My people and my culture in a way I felt this like pressure of being like, I'm telling a Middle Eastern story and I need to make sure every Middle Eastern person out there will feel seen. And um, yeah, just lots of pressures when you are carrying that kind of identity. And then also learning that, I think it's, you're telling a person story and like Yeah, but it was, it was really great. 'cause I was like, you know, the makeup artist, naer. Was like, she was like coming in constantly like correcting me and like it was just so like family vibes and that's like what a kind of brown set is like, I feel.

8:54KT: Yeah.

8:54Roxie: Like your, like when I, I example I use is when I did a TV show called Miles from Nowhere, which was a New Zealand kind of first like Muslim. TV show and on that set, like the lead actors were fetching all the aunties who were extras like cups of tea and lunch, like all day long. And that's the kind of hierarchy that I think like creates lot of like good vibes on set.

9:17KT: And it's so interesting to like, not us having like a film masterclass discussion, but it. Sometimes in the world of film and people loving film, it becomes distended from the actual experience and actual stories. I think for a lot of us, we are natural sort of storytellers, so to be told when and how to tell our own stories is quite farcical in this sort of industrial world. But to be able to get in and and find people that understand you and be able to make that short film, I think that means a lot.

9:49Roxie: It means everything. It just makes you feel so validated in that it made me feel heaps of hope, which is something I have lacked so deeply. You know, in the past, especially in the past two years with the genocide in Gaza, I'm just like, there's so much hopelessness and there's so many things in the world that we're all kind of. Becoming aware of, which is, sounds so pathetic, but the, you know, the masses like our learning of all the atrocities. And I think like that experience just instilled this like deep sense of hope in me that like our future is actually safe because storytelling, I believe is, is safe. I feel like as much as there are many obstacles, whether technology or politics, I feel like ultimately that's like such an ancient. Thing that is like within us, that no one's gonna be able to come in and mess with, like. I, I hope.

10:43KT: Yeah, absolutely. And I'm, I am all for feeling everything during a film and documentary. And also if you wanna meet me around the corner, I'll be yelling out on the street as well, Roxie. But I think people need to care more. People need to care more. People need to be more interested in people. That ha like in issues that have nothing to do with you, Iranian, uh, like there's an Iranian like, uh, shift for feminist sort of revolution wearing what they want, not being policed in that sort of way, as well as in Palestine all over the world. There's a resurgence of. Women and femininity and power and masculinity in that as well. Mm-hmm. And I am absolutely here for that. And this actually very perfectly tees up with a quote from, uh, one of the interviews that I checked out of yours. Feel free to tell me if it still resonates, if it's evolved. Since then, don't be too scared. It's a, it's a, it's a banger quote. I love it. Uh, people want diversity in casts, but not authenticity. In my experience, they want you to be very palatable.

11:48Roxie: Still completely rings true. When that was a few, that was a year, a few years ago, I think. Um, man, I feel that so much. In, in my acting kind of endeavors is that I find that there's such a, yeah, I don't even know how to like articulate this in a way that feels diplomatic. 'cause I feel like there is a sense of needing to do that. 'cause there's, there's a frustration about, um. Taking away from the progress we've made. Like I don't want to yuck that. 'cause I think there is, there is positive ultimately, but yeah, I think there's heaps of issues that no one talks about, like colorism. Like, there's like so many things and like I've read about futurism and there, there's all buzzwords, but I'm like, you know, they don't, they want people of color that they can say are people of color, but they don't look. Black people of color, like, you know, and there's like, I like the

12:43KT: safe quote, quote unquote, the safe option

12:45Roxie: completely. I want

12:46KT: you to look ethnic, but not, I guess, espouse anything that shifts from like, like colonial sort of ideals, right?

12:54Roxie: Yeah. And that's something I'm having, so I'm reckoning within myself. That's one of my biggest kind of issues. With who I am is that I grew up in a really small white town and I assimilated so hard, and all my friends are white and like that's like, you know, growing up like that, that was the, the environment I was in. So I've had to like unlearn so much shit and like. Also, but I also sometimes feel like I'm a bit of a sleeper cell agent where I'm like in, in these spaces, but quietly like sending up. So are you comfortable now?

13:23KT: Do you, do you want some truths? Do you want to hear it now?

13:25Roxie: Yeah. Yeah. And that's something like even, you know, whenever I feel like I get political, I suddenly got get a bit of lack of radio silence that happens. But ultimately what I've learned is that. You just have to like do the right thing because the truth will always prevail. Like, and it might take years, but I want a sustainable career where I'm gonna work with the right people and be in the safest hands and like, like preserve my like soul as a person in, in this quite chaotic industry and world. So. I don't know it, I feel like it's all going on the right path and there's so much support out there and I feel like that's like coming back to this like nomination, it's like you people do see you and people like do champion and, and want to like prop you up as much as sometimes you feel like you are kind of climbing a mountain with that stuff.

14:20KT: Well, I'm absolutely here to cheer you on every step of the way because, you know, trying to be out here and be black and brown in these streets. Is not easy. It's it, it's not easy at all and I, I'm so, I'm so glad, like to have this opportunity to be able to chat with you and,

14:41Roxie: oh, you too. You're doing amazing work. You're and like you are. Yeah. I think it's really important to have more people like you in these spaces. Like this conversation just felt really like light and you know, like I could just be honest or instead of being like, how do I say this without my agent calling me tomorrow? You say

15:00KT: free Palestine, uh, we say free all colonial lands. Release it back to the people, power to the people we're all about. And in

15:08Roxie: Australia that is the biggest. Thing I've, I've felt coming here is I feel like New Zealand, no treaty, no treaty. And I, I feel it in my bones. It's coming like the indigenous people of this land are gonna like, they're gonna get, get what's theirs and they deserve like, in a good way then they deserve, um, yeah, they deserve all the, all the peace. That's, that's been really jarring coming over, but to, to Australia. But I mean, New Zealand's still terrible too, in so many ways,

15:38KT: but we're

15:39Roxie: making. Progress.

15:41KT: Yeah. But it feels more like, uh, like even, uh, there was a, uh, like a new sort of segment you did for COVID and how embedded and how like Pacific 3 5 1 was in it as well. Yeah. Like just to see how cohesive, 'cause those that get it, get it right. I was born and raised here, but I also see myself as indigenous, like as a Tongan woman completely. And being able to navigate. Those sorts of worlds. And I absolutely understand that and I really appreciate it. And I know we don't have much time left, but I do just wanna know, um, you've talked about like stability versus expression. Mm-hmm. And maybe that's in part to honor your mom, who is also a nurse, or it's also that ethnic sort of you better in the bills.

16:24Roxie: Yeah, a hundred percent.

16:26KT: Pay your bills. Pay my bills, pay uncle and auntie's

16:28Roxie: bills, but bully,

16:30KT: pay, pay, pay the baby down the street Bills.

16:33Roxie: Pay the neighbor. Yeah. Pay the neighbor's dog's bills.

16:36KT: Exactly. And the cat, don't forget the cat as well. Um, is, is that something that you still are conscious of or is it more moving in a way that fulfills that storytelling part of you?

16:50Roxie: I think I've realized that no matter what I do, I will never be able to escape that yearning to be an artist. And so I'm starting to surrender to it and like have trust that I will be able to continue to make art and. And live that life. But at the same time, there's no, like, you know, I have moments where I kind of yearn to go and do a nursing placement rurally for three months and, and give even just like to engage with community through that work. So I'm very much, yeah, I'm very much in my like trust, the, trust the universe, trust the process era. Which is, which is nice 'cause. And my family completely are on board, you know, which is the biggest blessing. And I feel like they really get it. And my short film was definitely a moment of big, big, big pride for, for my mom and dad and my brother. And that kind of, all that validation means the world to me. So I think I feel a bit like I've got, I've got their blessing to, to keep powering forward.

17:56KT: And as long as you're held by those around you and those that have become before us, I think that's the most important thing as well. Right.

18:04Roxie: Yeah, a hundred percent. And we are, we're all divinely protected. You just have to try and like tap in. Yeah,

18:10KT: we got all the way indigenous. We got woo woo. We, we got all the way. I know, man. What the hell? It's been like 10 minutes

18:16Roxie: and I'm like glowing my heart up being like, we need to, we need to save the world.

18:21KT: We need to camp, we need to be held in love. I great. I think as well, but, um, your, your short film should be premiering in Australia hopefully soon.

18:30Roxie: Hopefully I find out. I'm

18:32KT: only saying that 'cause you said that in an interview, by the way. I'm not trying to get a sound bite. No, no, no, no, no.

18:35Roxie: I'm just, I I'm just, I'm like, I'm, I'm hoping it will get in. I've, I've put it into a few festivals here, so hopefully in January we'll find out next month. But that would be so, so cool to be able to have a premiere here. 'cause I couldn't make it back to New Zealand, which was like a really heartbreaking thing not to be able to see. But I have faith, it'll, it'll find its way and if not, it'll be on the internet. I'll put it out there somehow. So.

19:00KT: Uh, I wanna thank you so much for your time. Usually when we have interviews, it's based on a specific like film or TV show. This is more a showcase of your life and your heart and all of the beautiful energy, um, that you bring into this world. So instead of saying, what would you pay over double feature, that's usually what we do. What is something that you would say, whether it's to get to know you or to expand people's mind? It can be a TV. A show can be a short film, it can be a film, it can be a literature, it can be anything, a podcast or in any audio book, like anything that you think either to get to know you more or to tap people in to what they should be tapped into.

19:41Roxie: Oh, that is such a good question. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say books. We need to like get reading. Um, and I'll plug my friend ADE's book called Umma. It's a really beautiful multi-generational story set between Sri Lanka and Aotearoa and. It's just a really beautiful maternal kind of through line and yeah, read it, connect, read local authors, buy books and like it's hard. Reading is hard. Our attention spans are so spent, but I'm like couple pages here and there. So yeah, that's my plug.

20:15KT: I saw a tweet the other day saying. You know what the good thing about books are? There's no ads. Like I think that's the one. That's true. That's a one. And they can't

20:22Roxie: take your data from you. They're just like, they just, they just, they just give, they don't take.

20:27KT: Yeah. So shout outs to my Kindle. That takes all my unhinged notes. I like their colonialism, their genocide thing highlighted. Yeah. Feminism everywhere, all around the world. But Roxie, I took a bit too much of your time, but I want to thank you so much and congratulations again.

20:45Roxie: Thank you so much too. I really enjoyed our chat.