You need to strap in or strap on because we are entering the Ludus this week with Spartacus. If you have not watched it, we have GoT that will break you in! Your sploosh, our voices!

Stats

Released: January 2010
Network: Starz

Breakdown & Analysis

  • Respects to Andy Whitfield and his family.
  • KT always saw the Romans as ‘the man’. Fighting against the power.
  • Oti feels like we have gone backwards in terms of sexual liberation.
  • Best sex scene was between Spartacus and Ilithyia.
  • Sura was the face that launched a thousand revolts. She had little titties but they were still sliding off her chest.
  • Credit to the creators for asking Andy his blessings on continuing the show without him.
  • Crixus, the undefeated Gaul! Reigning champion at the time of the series.
  • Spartacus would not have been champion if Crixus didn’t allow him at battle for Solonius.
  • Your worst enemies were your best friends. Just like Batiatus and Solonius. According to Oti, like Tupac and Biggie.
  • It is historically accurate that gladiators had groupies. In Rome you would have been part of the fucking.
  • If we are not Batiatus and Lucretia, what is all this for? Ride or die with power couple goals!
  • Lucy Lawless is all encompassing female, everything!
  • Batiatus started off with Crixus and Barca. The character development of Batiatus and his rise to success was oh so delicious.
  • Gannicus is the Robbie Williams of 70th BCE. He gets all the panties. The only gladiator freed.
  • Ilithyia is conniving and tries to push Glaber’s influence in Rome. She knew she wa born out of privilege. That was more important to her than her marriage to Glaber. She slept with a teenage boy to get him to kill Varro. She escaped death because she was holding Spartacus’ child.
  • At first Gannicus and Melita were forced into it because of the masters at the s_x party. At the first pump, it was all other. But they continued this affair for years!
  • What is beneath your feet? The blood of those before me. When Doctore found out Batiatus had a hand in Barca’s death, he opened his eyes. He really deserved the world. Or at least a wife that was an ounce loyal.
  • Varro is an idiot because he was a free man. We don’t know why Jai Courtney took on tenny bopper movies but we acknowledge that he does have depth and we hope he goes back to roles of substance.
  • Ashur is the most grimiest, cunning character we have come across in any TV show or movie. What makes it worse is that he isn’t competent. He is weak and somehow managed to survive.

Unrelated but vital points

  • Didn’t realise there was so many titties and dicks in Ramsy street.
  • Australian accents were very distracting. Please let Oti know how you feel about his aussie accent.
  • All tits blazing KT will fight anyone on historical details.
  • Just at the point of climax, Oti has to ruin it.
  • Invitation open forever for Manu Bennett to have a hangi in our apartment
  • Oti has never watched Xena: Warrior Princess. Yet he remembers Hercules. This almost ended our podcast.
  • KT is a fancy bitch so if you get my panties, you are most welcome.
  • When Oti says he has re-watched it, he actually means he has an excel spredsheet for all the sex scenes.
  • Massive shoutout to legendary Chris and Chris from the Cooking with Grief podcast for introducing us to the OT Bop.
  • Shoutout to Mindy Kaling because first instance of talking about hair on brown titties. White titty committee, KT would like to have a conference call.
  • Shoutout to Pornhub. Whether you are with someone or not someone, sometimes you just need to get it out. A hand is all you need, or if it’s long enough a mouth is all you need.
  • Watching Xena: Warrior Princess was KT’s first sexual awakening.
  • As a loyal man in 2019, how do you satiate your seed needs?

For Your Reference

Our suggestions on what you should watch in supplement of this movie!

Oti’s pick

Rome  | TV Series (2005–2007) 1h 30min | Action, Drama, History | TV Series (2005–2007) Summary: A down-to-earth account of the lives of both illustrious and ordinary Romans set in the last days of the Roman Republic.
Countries: UK, USALanguages: English

KT’s pick

300 (2006) 1h 57min | Action, Drama, Fantasy | 9 March 2007 (USA) Summary: King Leonidas of Sparta and a force of 300 men fight the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C.
Countries: USA, Canada, BulgariaLanguages: English